Friday, April 9, 2010








Changing the "How" to Find the "What"


Spending long hours immersed in nature has always played a vital role in my life. When I was a child, my mother took us out for walks down the dunes of Lake Michigan’s shores in the fall, visits to the animals at the nature center in Kalamazoo in the winter, or swims in the New Hampshire lake where my extended family gathered every summer. Every season offered different ways for me to get that fix I needed so much to ground me, and every year, I seemed to need and value it more.


As I grew up, hiking, kayaking, and cross-country skiing offered new ways to explore the outdoors. The how, the when, and the where didn’t seem to matter. The only thing that did was the “what”- being able connect with something deep, and sure, and soothing to my restless soul. I could feel my heart slow down, my mood shifting with every step. It was such a relief to get away from my talkative, mind-racing self and get to know my quiet, sensory self out there, where there was always so much to observe.

After college, I discovered a new and exciting way to spend much longer periods outdoors. I would find a place that had something I couldn’t put my finger on, something happening just beneath the surface of my awareness, and build a sculpture that would bring it to light. I’d use whatever was around- grass stalks to show me breezes floating by, ice shards to catch the shifting sunlight, turning leaves to reveal the approach of winter…I didn’t really care what I had to use- I just needed something to give me that “what,” that secret juice that brought the place to life for me, that connected me to it and to that bigger, deeper sense of myself.




But then, my daughters were born, and my interest in connecting with that "what" outdoors faded as my passion for connecting with these incredible new "whos" grew. I couldn't imagine being away from them for a day, let alone a week. A month was unimaginable! And so, quite quickly, I gave up that addiction, that obsession, and have never regretted the decision for a minute.

I did, however, walk away from a big part of myself. I spent a year or two with the strange feeling that I had lost something, as if a limb no one else could see had been amputated, but I didn’t really understand what giving my art up had cost me. After a few years, I channeled my creative energies into writing, which was a fantastic and timely decision, as my first project was a screenplay about fathers trying to figure out how to raise their children. My next and current project, a novel about dreaming that I wrote with daily input from my daughters, brought us even closer, and gave me even greater satisfaction.

Yet something was still missing. The girls knew it. They’d tell me, “It’s okay, Daddy- we’re old enough! You can go back in the forest!” but I didn’t have the will or the guts to leave them for however long it would take to get that strange connection back. And what if it didn’t come back? What if I found out I’d become deaf to nature’s voice, a voice whose whispers I'd listened to effortlessly for days on end before? It was too frightening to face that loss, so I stayed out of the deep wild, and away from that wild part deep inside myself.

It was my wife, Mim, an artist with a photographic eye much sharper than my sculptor’s ear, who led me back in years later. Her habit of carrying her camera everywhere, of using it to transform the simplest of moments into ones of deep and lasting value, convinced me to pick up a camera, too. I soon found myself reaching through the lens for something my eyes couldn’t see without it, for some fleeting effect of light, some pattern that only the rectangular frame would reveal…and I began to find it. I soon found it everywhere I went, and it got easier and easier, too. The more I looked, the more I found, and the faster I found a way to capture it.

I became obsessed, dropping my plans for starting a new career to follow geese through the foggy Fens, or trek up into the snow-dusted hills of Middlesex Fells at dawn. I shot ice floes in Plymouth on a day so cold my camera locked up and my fingers froze inside the gloves. But it felt great. I was back. That wild man, the one who knew where to find the “what” he needed most, was back, and he was grinning at me and my camera. I was glad to see him, too, glad that I hadn't lost him forever.

I’m not the only one who needs to reconnect with a part of themselves that’s been neglected, lost, or left behind. Most of my clients are very successful in parts of their lives. They have good jobs, good careers, good prospects, and yet...something is missing, something they can't always name when we first start working together. But soon, with careful questioning, their "what" begins to emerge for both of us to see. Even then, though, many shake their heads, convinced that they can't have it because all the "hows" they've already tried didn't work. They want it, but often believe they either can't get it, or they'd have to give up too much to chase after it.

But I know different because I've found a way back, a way in that lets me have my fix and my family, and I know they can, too. I never tell them which "how" to try, or which "what" to pursue. Instead, I help them listen to the voice inside urging them to try new ways of thinking about it and of going after it. The coaching moments I live for are when my clients realize that opening themselves up to approaches they've never tried before is bringing them closer and closer to those things they've always wanted, but thought were out of their reach. I love watching them reconnect.

We all have to let go of some beliefs we’ve held onto for a long, long time, especially the ones about what we can't do, or have, or achieve. And when we do, we just might find that something even better can take their place. Something wild that's grinning back at us in the mirror.























All photographs by Pratt Bennet

For a sampling of Mim's inspiring photographs at www.mimspeak.com, click here:



5 comments:

  1. What a interesting post.. I've had the amazing opportunity to be your student for only one secssion in the hole year that I'd been in Boston. I've just grew up as the same way as you did, but here in Brazil, and I completely understand how nature is important to our human essence. So only in the nature we can find the answer for the missing part we have in our lifes. I liked the part that you talked about the mirror. The mirror can make we look back and realize about our lifes. I wish everything good for you Pratt and that everything you are expecting to reach can be possible and real.

    Paulo Demito.

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  2. Paulo-
    what a beautiful and thoughtful response! Thank you! I agree that nature provides us with an invaluable mirror, but it is only one of many mirrors. We can see our true natures in the faces of those we call friends, in the types of jobs we choose, and in the lives we lead. I hope you find reflections that help you move forward.
    Pratt

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  3. Pratt, this is so lovely. I finally realized after photographing for 40 years (I started VERY young :) that I was always trying to see beyond what the physical eyes can see. That you are photographing again for You, is a wonder-full thing. Wishing you many happy moments of inspiring and illuminating reflection. Rock on!

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  4. Elsa-
    thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I had been working all weekend and was running out of steam when I looked out the window this afternoon and saw beautiful afternoon light. "I should be out shooting!" i told myself, and jumped in the car. Within a half hour, I was exploring a new forest for possibilities. The late afternoon sun caught something down in a hollow on my left, and soon, I was deeply immersed in trying to capture the incredible range of greens in the leaves of sprouting, backlit skunk cabbages (a favorite from many years ago). After two hours had flown by, I emerged calmer, saner, grounded, and refreshed, still marvelling at what I'd been able to get a glimpse of in there. Quietly, delicately, the roots that have weathered the cold are starting to send their sprouting scouts back up to seek the light. I was so delighted to be one of them today.

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  5. Pratt,

    I always enjoy a new perspective on life and I love the approach in which I read in your blog. So the newest thing on my plate is information theory. Information is everywhere and not just as an abstract concept. It's a concrete property of matter and energy that is just a real as a chunk of lead, and inside every cell even down to DNA information lies inside it. If you start to work backwards and try to decode information, you see that the universe is half spent, the entire race has less genetic diversity than an average group of two dozen chimps.. "bottle neck theory" we can look back into every one's DNA now and you can see huge mutations which caused a race to survive or die. Well eventually most of all of us died about 400K to 800K years ago and a small group survived... and those are the people we came from. So the act of living itself can be seen as the act of replicating and preserving information despite natures attempt to destroy it. So think of our universe or multiverse as constantly churning. Information passes back and forth and the environment conscious or not processes it and dissipates it. In a sense it all works like a giant processor... like a computer. There are a limited number of information processing operations that we have left in us. So life cannot go on forever, all lie will go extinct in the visible universe. Information will dissipate, it can't be destroyed though, it will be scattered, useless life in the cosmos. Think of holograms, like the one on a credit card etc, it's a two dimensional object on film and a substrate, but it encodes the full three dimensional information about the object that was imaged. Now there is the proposed holographic principle, which for solidly theoretical reasons extends this theory to the universe. So then in a sense are we holographic images of ourselves - two dimensional creatures living under the illusion that we are three dimensional, or even crazier 4 dimensional? Knowing that information is the key how much do you believe in the mystery, the power of thought? Creating a world within your mind, the world within your mind is more real than what you see especially when seeing yourself through the eyes of someone you have become. Thanks Pratt always for your great advice, I know you keep telling me to take a break from the philosophy books!

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